Welcome Back!

I suppose that’s appropriate.

It’s been a good long break and I don’t know if I have changed after all this while. Well, maybe you can judge for yourselves. I guess I have. I guess I have learnt to accept many things, so that I can now proceed towards a new direction and play with a new flurry of doubts. Aah doubts, my old friend. Good thing about doubts are that once they go, they go forever.

There is some stability in my mind. There’s more certainty. I know, even vaguely if so, what I want out of life. I think calming the hormones early by giving into the temptations is a necessity ;) It works in much more complex ways than you can think!

It has been hectic, and now I want to relax and unwind, mostly. I am even thinking of writing a book. And doing some painting.

There were lots of blog articles on the rack that I had never completed. I’ll try to wrap them up, wherever possible. Sadly, the limitations of human memory will let a few articles remain incomplete forever. Some unsaid words will be lost, leaving no ghosts behind. 

So here begins a train of those few articles that I could give some shape to. Frankly, it is not easy trying to see things from the same eyes that saw a year ago. I look back at myself... so much energy, so much enthusiasm, so much to express, so much spark – all mostly scattered and wasted without any direction. I don’t know why I did not understand, actually I never knew that people can be so serious- but they are! If I would have a time turner like Hermione, I would go back to my old self and tell her, tenderly, lovingly...well, I still don’t think I would understand. Hmm, maybe the experiences were just plain necessary.

Pet Rabbits

# I wrote this long back when I was in school, just happened to come across it...
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Darting like two arrows
Through the lush green grass,
Ran the two rabbits-
Balls of fat cotton mass.

They halted abruptly
By the sound of our call.
They came back reluctantly
Up to the wall.

We gave them carrots
And alfalfa and cabbage;
Their hunger being great
They ate like savage.

And as for salad
They prefer the salt,
Lickin' us all over
With no desire to halt.

It still flashes in my memory-
Their rosy pink soft ears,
Their warm fluffy bodies,
My eyes get filled with tears.

Their vain attempts to attack,
Their successful bites and scratches,
Their peaceful snoring sleep,
The ruby eye that watches.

Ears that prick to the faintest sound,
Fast heavy breathing,
Thumping sounds they make with their feet
When enemy is approaching.

Jumping high, crouching low-
The countless days went by
Till I was forced to count them
And all of it seemed a lie.

The Show - Lenka

Here's one of my favourite songs!

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I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried

And I don't know why

Slow it down

Make it stop--

Or else my heart is going to pop

'Cause it's too much

Yeah, it's a lot

To be something I'm not

I'm a fool

Out of love

'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried

And I don't know why

I am just a little girl lost in the moment

I'm so scared but I don't show it

I can't figure it out

It's bringing me down I know

I've got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot

In the sky

Just like a giant spotlight

The people follow the signs

And synchronize in time

It's a joke

Nobody knows

They've got a ticket to that show

Yeah

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

I dont know where to go, can't do it alone I've tried

And I don't know why

I am just a little girl lost in the moment

I'm so scared but I don't show it

I can't figure it out

It's bringing me down I know

I've got to let it go

And just enjoy the show oh oh oh

Just enjoy the show oh oh oh

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried

And I don't know why

I am just a little girl lost in the moment

I'm so scared but I don't show it

I can't figure it out

It's bringing me down I know

I've got to let it go

And just enjoy the show oh oh oh

Just enjoy the show

dum de dum

dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

dum de dum

dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back

I want my money back

I want my money back

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back

I want my money back

I want my money back

Just enjoy the show

:P

All I know is that if it’s meant for me, I’ll get it for sure. The 6400 km radius-ed bubble is hardly a barrier. You might show me some tiny figures and call them ‘probability’. Well, don’t try to calculate, mathematics will mislead you here. After all, enzymes have been finding substrates, signalling molecules have been finding receptors, and axons have been finding dendrites since millions of years. Oh, and the electron! It has been transiting forbidden energy gaps ever since a few seconds after the birth of the Universe. These things just HAPPEN.

Bad, Bad People

Another beautiful evening in IISER Pune, another fruit-punch sky. The beckoning cloud-mons, the head banging grass and the balmy breeze- all shut out by closed windows of the second-floor classroom, a meeting-place of sober minds. They discuss everything. Everything is so important. And so they meet and discuss.

Love?

A torrent of deep blue water endlessly stretching out in all directions, parallel to the black sky above. The moon and a few pinpricks of stars. A tiny ship in the middle of this infinity, tossed by careless waves. On the wheel, it’s you. Chilly winds blow your hair over your face, ruffle your flowing dress and freeze your skin. Your hands are cold and tired; almost lifeless. Then you feel them in his. The contagious warmth flows through you. He’s come to help you at the wheel. There’s no one else in the ship.

Everything feels so thrilling. Everything feels so good!

A violent toss and the ship might sink any moment. Yet it blends so well with the eternal sky and ocean, and gives the same feeling of ‘eternity’. The yellow lights on it look like ‘hope’, although you aren’t really hoping for anything specific.

A hug.

Why, this ship is not sinking anytime soon. And even if it is going to, do you care? It is either Everything or Nothing. And both are good.

The unappreciated Angel in Disguise

We all know him. We all run away from him. Not that he is pleasant to hang around with; actually the farther away you are from him the better it is for you. And yet, my friends, and yet again I will say, he is your angel in disguise.


Run away, run far away
The panic in your heart is here to stay
For when he comes, no matter night or day
You know you’re trapped, you have no say.

He treads, he does, himself along
A smile upon his face so strong
Inside his mind, singing a song:
Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong.

A single glimpse, a single glare
Keep up your pace, or you’ll have to bear
More than that, you’ll gasp for air,
Not me, not me, this is not fair!

Thus he be, unpleasant so
Don’t take away all his credit, though
For he is your angel, our angel, oh!
In ignorance, in disguise, although.

Free advice he generously gives,
Wraps it up in concern and niceties.
Yet closely you listen, you’ll realise this:
Escaped your eyes but News it is!

That smiling chap did not tell you
Nor did she, sweet girl in blue
But you know it well, yes you do
Thanks to him, he’s the angel, true.

Thank you, but sorry- you hear yourself say
Don’t hurt your conscience, sure you may
Run away, run far away
For the panic in your heart is here to stay.

There Isn't Time!

~by Eleanor Farjeon
0ne of my favourite childhood poems that has inspired the address of this blog


There isn't time, there isn't time
To do the things I want to do,
With all the mountain-tops to climb,
And all the woods to wander through,
And all the seas to sail upon,
And everywhere there is to go,
And all the people, every one
Who lives upon the earth, to know.
There's only time, there's only time
To know a few, and do a few,
And then sit down and make a rhyme
About the rest I want to do.

ME versus ME

So I have created a blog...finally!
But posting something is another matter entirely, it appears.

I think of what to post. Perhaps, something I feel strongly about? And then I hear a rebuke inside me, this is not a political forum! At least, don't begin it that way.

Alright. What about something weird and cosmic? Something totally out of this world? Not a bad idea, actually. But don't give me that vampire stuff.
Hey! That's good! It's not so bad, I mean. It's little stupid but that's how it is supposed to be, you know, dreamy stuff. But maybe you are right. That wouldn't make a proper beginning.

I can surely put up that article which I wrote for the college magazine. Damn me! I'm not finding it...

Let me help. Would you like to begin with the poems you wrote? Just don't call them poems if you aren't sure they are...
Oh, yeah! And it will be so wonderful and all. Just shut up for a while, will you?

Science, philosophy...all that will take some time. But I need to post something right now! My blog has been empty since ages. (Let's not get into the argument if it is alright to call an empty blog a blog.)

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I've just got back from home to continue my summer project over here. I was ill; thought I would take rest today. After about an hour's nap Hunger and Sleep were fighting inside me, with the alarm tone playing in the background. This went on for about half-an-hour before I finally decided to go out and have some bread-patis, as they call it. Never imagined the weather outside would drive me crazy enough to just keep walking! The balmy breeze led the way...and look where I landed: an internet-cafe! I opened up my blog.

Let's start typing. Impulses will do the rest.
Yeah. I agree with you. This time.